Marriage & Parenting

Happy Big 5 Birthday, Jamie!

Birthday girl did not take her nap this afternoon so she knocked out at 9.30pm just now. Pity that this year I could not spend this special day with her, unlike last year. But I believe things will get better next year.
Sweet little girl asked me why didn’t I buy a bigger cake today so that everyone can eat. I told her this hello kitty mini cake is exclusive to her…
Nevertheless, sweet sister Jamie still shared her cake with Didi…
As I browsed through her photos from 0 mths to 5 years old looking for nice photos for her birthday e-collage, I noticed that Jamie seemed to grow faster after Didi was born.
When I say ‘grow faster’, it means she looks more mature these days.
I think most friends know that I am more attached to Jamie than James. Afterall there were only two of us during a large part of my pregnancy and the first 7 mths after Jamie was born. I enjoyed my life as a stay-home-mum from April 2009-July 2010 and inevitably Jamie and I are more bonded since.
Whereas I was a full time working mother when I had James and went back to work after 16 weeks of my maternity leave. In addition, my helper (Pyone) was obessed with James since he was born. Hahaha… So she was very on the ball taking care of James since the day I returned from hospital.
Other reasons why I am more attached to Jamie includes:
1. She is more sensible and cooperative. Of coz there were times she was not obedient but we didn’t need to use too much effort to talk sense with her. We know she is more sensible and mature than her peers. She understands reasoning at a young age from 6 months…
2. I feel guilty towards Jamie. Since I returned to the workforce in July 2010, I missed a lot of her milestones. Even after I switched to a 8-5 job in Mar 2011, it didn’t help very much too. When I had James, the pregnancy was unstable, hence I had to stop carrying Jamie. She was only 2.5 years old then and didn’t know why Mummy cannot carry her.
Though she was not a child who needs lots of hugs, she still felt the sense of loss. But she was sensitive and could see that I was not well as I was bedridden very often. So she obliged to whatever she was asked not to do. It was then she became more independent.
Being the more independent child, she was also often neglected compared to the less cooperative Didi. I want to make it up for her. I want to assure her that I love her very much, if not more…
3. She is a very sensitive child and can sense when I need her company or reassurance. She will then use her own ways to assure me eg keeping me company and telling me she loves me. She is like me who needs a lot of reassurance. But I don’t want her to grow up like me. I want her to be a self-sufficient and happy child. I don’t want her to need others to reassure her. But from what I see, she lacks in self esteem and confidence too. Maybe because she was the year end child. She used to hide at a corner of the old classroom and cried when she could not do what her peers can do. She was especially slower in her gross motor and fine motor development. But since K1, she has showed a great improvement in her gross motor development. We are all proud of her. And now it’s the struggle with her literacy. We are not sure if she needs more help with reading and she is still under review but I will be there for her no matter what happens. This is something I didn’t have during and since my childhood (to know there is always someone standing by me and having faith in my capabilities). I will make sure she has it.
4. Jamie is a selfless child. She loves to share even if it’s her favorite toys. But because of this, she has developed a selfish Didi Hahahahaha…
But of coz she still has rooms for improvement. She is still at the not so sure what is right or wrong age and hence may pick up the wrong habits or thinks that if she grows up faster, she can do naughty things. So this is where we need to stay a look out and nurture her accordingly, to ensure she knows what’s right and wrong. And what’s a socially desirable action and what’s not…
Didi is another type of person altogether and it is really fun to watch the two children interact.
All to All, I feel blessed with two lovely different children and this allows me to enjoy the diverse kind of parenting and parenthood.
Let’s enjoy the collages of Jamie’s growing up.. See how my 2.75kg tiny boyish baby grows into a 18kg toned and pretty young girl…
Her First Year
See my little mermaid and boyish looking baby. Most people thought she is a boy even when I dressed her in pink dresses, socks, shoes and hair accessories. And now Didi is mistaken as a girl.. Hahaha…
I have to say she was an easy baby. As a stay-home-mum, I was not always at home. I would lug her wherever I go, be it window shopping, meet my friends and attending birthday parties. Laogong was doing his masters since our wedding, so I was really ‘alone’ with Jamie. Maybe that’s why she understands me and my instructions since 3-4 mths old…
1-2 years old
I was blessed that she never had her terrible two. She was cooperative from young, though cheeky at times…
Like said she was an easy child, we can bring her everywhere we go.. We go on many road trips to Msia when she was young. With Pyone joining the family, it was a blissful period for us.
2-3 years old 
This is when things get a little tougher especially I was spotting very badly during Pyone’s two month home visit during to pregnancy with Didi. Jamie was insecure and unsure why Mummy was always sick. She started to be more sticky but yet cooperative when told to listen to instructions. It was a great two months with Jamie though and we really feel we have each other once again..
See how fast my little toddler grows up from this stage onwards..

3-4 years old 

The arrival of Didi means loss of attention from her Aunty Pyone. In replacement, I tried to give her more attention.
But Didi was not easy, hence we don’t get to go out as much during Didi first year.
See how lovely she is as a little big sister. She started to blossom into a pretty young girl too…
4-5 years old 
This year she grew up a lot.. See the photos. She poses very well these days when taking photos. She is more sociable and enjoys pairs and group activities (compared to 90% solitary play when she was below 4 years old). These days, she has the initiatives to walk over to a stranger and make friends with the children.
She even looks more mature and garang. She now believes certain things she can do it and certain thing she wants to do it. It’s the negotiation and moral suasion stage now, to get her to buy in our ideas and values willingly. So far so good though I forsee more challenges because she is very outspoken and thinks a lot. So we can’t talk to her at her level. We are trying to talk to her as if she is an older kid.
As much as we hope she grows up slowly, what’s important is really that we try to equip her with the skills and values to get her ready for the tough years ahead..
I believe if the child is resilient, even if life don’t sail smooth, he/she will survive the waves and storms.. And enjoy the fruits of his/her labour..
Jiayou my Princess! You can do it!

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