It was a tiring and worriesome 10 days. Thank goodness it’s all over soon!!!
But ‘it was worth it’ because this episode triggered me to do a lot of serious and thorough thinking. From these thinking, I achieved great enlightenment and found out what I really need (vs want).
Due to the fast pace of life at work and at home (because there was so little time after work, which had to be shared among my Laogong, my children, my household and my helper), I did not have the luxury of sitting down to think through before I plan and execute my every move. I had simply been relying on my impulse (and not my instincts).
The HFMD outbreak didn’t make my pace of life slower, instead it filtered out the distractions and allowed my instinct to emerge.
What’s my instinct?
I am just a simple girl who wishes that everyone who cares for me and who I care for, are healthy and happy.
Seeing everyone sick in the house, I felt myself being slapped in the face. I felt that I has failed badly in my role as a wife, a mother and an employer (to my helper). So what if I have great vision of a dream? How much more family/social/me time I need to sacrifice and how much more I need to deny my instincts before can I achieve my dream? It’s definitely not going to come easy and I am not willing to give up my instincts for it. Because achieving this dream is really meant for the benefit of people who I care for. Without them, I don’t need this dream.
So now I just want to do well in my core reaponsibilities as a wife, a mother, employer and an employee. I don’t know if I can meet everyone’s expectations but I know I will never stop trying!
I feel happier now because I know whatever I am doing now, is what matter most to me!
It was fun cleaning and disinfecting the house together as a family, though I don’t enjoy throwing so many fabric items away. This episode also tells me that I need to act fast after I think through and made a decision, because there are many things in life we have no control of.
Am looking forward to this Sunday when Laogong, Jamie and James are all well again!!!